Let’s be real—dating in the UK can feel like navigating a minefield sometimes. You meet someone who’s charming, texts you just enough to keep you hooked, and makes you feel like the only person in the room… until you start noticing little things that don’t add up. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Is he really into me, or is he just a womaniser?” you’re not alone. The good news is, womanisers leave subtle (and not-so-subtle) clues—you just need to know what to look for.
First, let’s clarify what a womaniser actually is. It’s not just someone who’s had a few relationships; it’s someone who chases the thrill of new connections over genuine commitment, often juggling multiple people at once without being honest. They’re masters of charm because that’s how they win people over—but their attention is never permanent. Here are the key red flags I’ve picked up on, from my own dating experiences and chatting to friends:
1. His compliments feel copy-pasted A womaniser’s flattery is like a generic business card—he hands it out to everyone. He might tell you, “You’re not like other girls” or gush about your laugh… but then you’ll accidentally spot him saying the exact same thing to someone else on Instagram comments a week later. It’s not that he’s bad with words; it’s that he doesn’t bother personalising them. Genuine interest means noticing specific things about you—like how you ramble about your favourite podcast, not just generic “you’re pretty” lines.
2. He’s secretive about his phone (and his life) Ever tried to lean over while he’s texting and he tenses up? Or does his phone always stay on silent, face-down on the table? Big red flag. Womanisers need to keep their other connections hidden, so they’ll never let you see their messages. Even bigger: he won’t introduce you to his friends or family. He might say, “My mates are too rowdy for you” or “It’s too early for family stuff,” but the truth is, he doesn’t want anyone in his inner circle to know you exist—just in case a “better option” comes along. If you’ve been dating for 6+ weeks and you’re still a secret, run.
3. He’s hot and cold—no in-between One day, he’s texting you all day long, planning future dates, and being the perfect gentleman. The next? Radio silence. He might ghost you for 48 hours, then pop back up like nothing happened with a casual “Sorry, been busy.” This isn’t just “being busy”—it’s because he’s dividing his attention between multiple people. When he’s got free time, you’re a priority; when someone else needs him, you’re forgotten. A guy who’s genuinely into you will communicate if he’s swamped, not disappear without a trace.
4. He avoids commitment like it’s a plague Bring up the idea of exclusive dating, and he’ll either change the subject, get defensive, or hit you with vague lines like “Let’s just go with the flow” or “Someday, but not now”. He might even talk about “serious relationships” in theory, but when it comes to making concrete plans—like a weekend away in Brighton or meeting his parents—he always has an excuse: “Work emergency,” “My cousin’s in town,” or “I need to recharge alone.” Womanisers don’t want to lock themselves into anything; they need to keep their options open.
5. He‘s an over-friendly charmer to every woman Watch how he treats other women—baristas, your coworkers, his female “friends.” Does he flirt with the waitress while you’re sitting right there? Does he drop everything to help his “sister” fix her laptop at 11 PM, but takes hours to reply to your texts? A guy with genuine intentions will respect boundaries with other women. A womaniser thrives on attention from everyone, not just you. He’ll call it “being friendly,” but deep down, he’s keeping all his options warm.
The most important thing to remember? Trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is. You don’t have to “prove” he’s a womaniser to walk away—your peace of mind is more important than finding closure. Dating should make you feel secure, not anxious or confused.
If you’ve spotted multiple these red flags, it’s time to cut your losses. A womaniser won’t change for you—he’s not capable of the commitment you deserve. Save your energy for someone who’ll choose you, not just keep you around as an option.
Have you ever dealt with a womaniser while dating? Drop your red flags in the comments—I’d love to hear your experiences!