Let’s be real—we’ve all Googled this question at 2 a.m., scrolling through our phones with a cuppa (or something stronger) in hand, wondering if the ache in our chest will ever fade. The truth? There’s no magic number. No “6 weeks and 2 days” rule, no “twice the length of the relationship” myth that holds up for everyone. Getting over someone is as personal as the relationship itself, and that’s totally okay .
First off, let’s stop putting pressure on ourselves to “hustle” through healing. A British study tracked people post-breakup and found that most emotional healing happens within the first year, with smaller gains in the second . But here’s the kicker—some folks bounce back in a few weeks, others take longer, and neither is “doing it wrong.” The length of your relationship, why it ended, and even how you’re taking care of yourself all play a part.
If you’re stuck in that foggy phase (we’ve all been there), here are a few gentle tips that actually work—no toxic “just get over it” vibes, promise:
1. Hit pause on social media stalking. We know it’s tempting to check their feed when you’re bored or lonely, but seeing their “perfect” post-breakup life (spoiler: it’s not perfect) just rubs salt in the wound . Block them, unfollow, or even take a break from the apps for a bit. Your mental health will thank you.
2. Lean on your crew. Remember all those mates you put on the backburner when you were loved-up? Now’s the time to text them. Whether it’s a night in with takeaway and trashy TV or a walk in the park to vent, their support will be your anchor . And don’t feel guilty about monopolising their time—they’d do the same for you.
3. Fill the gaps with *you* stuff. All that time you used to spend texting or planning dates? Use it to rediscover what makes you happy. Sign up for that pottery class you’ve been eyeing, binge-watch that show everyone’s talking about, or just spend a Sunday morning reading in bed with no agenda . Reconnecting with yourself is half the battle.
4. Let yourself feel it (but set a limit). It’s okay to have a good cry, blast sad songs, and wallow a little—just don’t make it a permanent state. Set an “emotion alarm”: allow yourself 30 minutes a day to feel all the feels, then wash your face and do something small that makes you smile (even if it’s just making a good cup of tea) .
The biggest takeaway? Healing isn’t a straight line. You might have a great week, then hear a song that takes you right back—and that’s normal. Be kind to yourself. And when you’re ready to dip your toes back into dating (if that’s what you want), you’ll do it with a clearer head and a stronger heart.
So, how long does it take to get over someone? As long as you need. And that’s more than enough.